Playing Games

As I venture into adulthood, I find it rare these days to partake in activities strictly “for fun”, and feel guilty to do things that don’t have some sort of directional benefit. Activities that I used to enjoy without any ulterior motives (for instance, reading fiction), have turned into things that must feel productive (reading nonfiction). And that’s not to say that I don’t enjoy things in the latter category anymore, but it sort of takes away from the purity of “fun” when these activities now come with a requirement of some +ROI. What I consider my hobbies must now fulfill some practical purpose behind it, whether it’s a form of physical activity, cognitive exercise, social skill, etc.

The only exception is games. In all and any forms. Games are one of greatest parts of life because it’s one of those things that have zero extrinsic utility. I mean, truthfully, it is an absolute waste of time by traditional standards. And I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is that makes it different from other hobbies like watching TV series, or gardening, but it feels like there is something entirely unique to games. It’s could just be the perfect combination of creativity, sense of agency, and competition that gets you in flow state. But it also feels like there is something more than just that. It feels like there is something elegant, perhaps overlooked, something that can be encapsulated by one word, that makes games unique. I’ll have to think about it more to nail down what it is exactly.

Game playing is fundamental to children. For me personally, it started with a few video games. Now I wasn’t hardcore or anything like that because growing up, the only devices accessible to me were 1) my PSP, 2) my sister’s DS and 3) the iPad. PC games existed but was harder for me to access: We only had one computer situated in the common room but living with Asian parents, it was harder to sneak hours into. Limited by their presence, the only PC games I played were short form, like those on miniclip or gamepost. I had my fun with them but they were just not the same as longer form single-player story games. For instance, here were some of the greatest games that have wasted many hours of my youth:

Minecraft (iPad and later PC): God, if I had a major obsession in middle school it was this. If I wasn't playing it, I was watching it (skydoesmincraft, ihascupquake,etc.). Although I was a fake minecrafter because most of my phase was actually in pocket edition. By the time my mom finally allowed me to get the PC version, it was already near the tail end of my era so I only stuck around for some hunger games servers and never built a proper world. On the iPad, however, my first survival mode world gave me a sense of purpose, agency, and fulfillment in my youth (not to be dramatic). I genuinely felt engulfed in it and would go directly home after school everyday straight to my iPad. I can’t tell you how devastated I was when I somehow lost access that world when I got a new iPad. It was like 2 years of my life’s work down the drain. After that, I never fully recovered and mainly just played creative mode for the rest of my Minecraft days. I enjoyed it just as much. The unlimited resources allowed me to focus more on aesthetics and magnificence. I could do whatever the hell I wanted (like build a red-stone roller coaster inside my pink wool mansion). I don’t want to be dramatic, but sometimes I still get chills thinking about this game, and it just weirdly invokes a deep sense of calmness and nostalgia. I still have Minecraft-like visual dreams to this day.
Daxter (PSP): Holy shit I just cannot emphasize enough how amazing this game was. All the different realms (Westside hotel was the best) were just perfectly crafted. Also amazing detailed visuals and graphics back in the day.
Lego Batman (PSP): I remember this hit different, and I loved playing as different characters with unique abilities. I also had lego Indiana jones, but it just wasn’t the same.
Thrillville Off the Rails (PSP): The theme park building was okay. The best part were the mini games. One notable mini game, Sparkle Quest, honestly could have been an individual game itself if extended.
Other notable games worthy of mention included: Kirby: Super Star Ultra, Yoshi’s Island, Fantage, GTA Sans Andreas, Diddy Kong Racing, Princess Peach, and Carbon Need for Speed.

But game playing goes beyond just video games. Now as an adult, I much prefer social or IRL games (board games, card games, etc.). Poker is something that I recently got really into (and will likely write a blog about that soon since it deserves an entire love letter from me). Secret Hitler, Avalon, Cambio (shoutout Kwame), Werewolf, etc. is how I also like to waste my time these days. I think more adults, especially the career focused, productivity obsessed ones, need to incorporate games into their routine once a while, because I think it flexes a part of our psyche that is wrongfully abandoned during adulthood. Like, you know those corporate NPCs who sold their souls working 20 years in finance? I think they just need to play some games tbh. This concept of “play” is beyond just childish entertainment, it’s a medium for curiosity, creativity, and passion. I google searched “quotes on play” so I don’t have to come up with a clever ending. Here’s a relevant one: “We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing”.